Sunday, October 12, 2008

So What if you locked up you shit like youre supposed to??


So you've locked the door to your car, you turned on your alarm. You parked yourself further than you needed to in order to make it the spot that was better lit than the closer ones.

You're a block away from the police station.

You leave your vehicle with your friends and have a wonderful night, watching musicians perform great sets, chatting up the artists and relating your similar pasts. You leave buzzed with excitement and talking loudly to your friends about your night.

you get back to your car and find glass all over your seats, pieces of a brick or concrete or something on your driver side floor. Your purse is missing. Its empty but you panic over your cell phone, your ipod, your wallet before you realize you left them at home.

Then you realize these assholes were so stupid, they missed the window on their first try, so not only did they bust through your window, they felt a nice big dent on top of your door handle.

So as I wrote earlier,
a big FUCK YOU goes out to the asshole or assholes who threw a brick through my window and stole my purse.

Congrats asshole. You stole an empty purse.

Joke's on you though, cuz im sure you just threw the purse in the garbage. Well guess what?

its worth at least $350.

go fuck yourself. die in a ditch.

Friday, October 10, 2008

So what if you have writer's block???


So you finally have your dream editing job and the pressure's on. Things are going great at first so you think you can take on even more projects. More projects and more writing. And more deadlines that creep up. You should be writing your short pieces that are all due today... and you should be writing your overview of how awesomely amazing Maine is (also due today) ... but you're not. You can't!!! Forced writing sucks a nut and you know it! The blank Word document that stares you in the face is silently mocking you... telling you how much you suck as a writer!!! So you write silly blogs in an effort to procrastinate. Might as well use whatever creativity is flowing to figure out an excuse to tell your editor if you miss your deadlines.

Why does writing have to rule and suck at the same time???